One of the truly disturbing things about the mind is that it is constantly thinking. It is reforming good beliefs, reinforcing negative beliefs and generally screwing up right and left. The idea that you can convince yourself to murder someone using arguments is truly terrifying. The mind is highly plastic and can easily be manipulated. I have seen it happen with myself plenty of times. I have held on to a belief only to argue myself into accepting the counter belief. It is kind of inconvenient to participate in a debate since you can easily be influenced by both sides and not know where you stand.
Yesterday I had a lot to drink. So much so that when I came out of the bar I felt I should have drunk a little more. Now I had 4 large pegs of white rum i.e., 240 ml of white rum to drink. That is a lot of alcohol. But somehow the irrational part of my mind started believing that I could have had more and also started to crave it badly. Yesterday I made a call to my colleague and bad mouthed another one of my colleagues. My normal hungover self sincerely regrets it. I wish I said the things I said to him. I know he might not tell them to another person, but I am sad that I lost self-control. I really appreciate it when people say ill things about other people and I do not react by trying to add my two cents to the conversation. But I guess that is one of my weaknesses that I do react or even start bad mouthing people without provocation.
Speaking of hangover, I don't think I had the normal one. I just felt my thoughts rushing in my head(a constant tingling feeling in my scalp) and I was unable to pinpoint the source of the disturbance. Apart from that I did not have a headache or anything. Yesterday when I came back home, I felt quite nice and sleepy and felt my muscles droop. It was a good feeling. I could think of things when I was not craving more alcohol and my mind turned towards philosophical topics. I was strongly arguing against the famous Bhagavad Gita maxim "You have the right to perform your actions,but you are not entitled to the fruits of the actions." Read in a vacuum this line actually makes no sense. But the next line(which I just read) "Do not let the fruit be the purpose of your actions, and therefore you won’t be attached to not doing your duty." kind of provides an explanation or an argument for the former. This line makes sense because if people only cared about the fruits of the action, they would not do things for truly altruistic reasons, like care for other people, give alms to the poor etc.
Yesterday I had a lot to drink. So much so that when I came out of the bar I felt I should have drunk a little more. Now I had 4 large pegs of white rum i.e., 240 ml of white rum to drink. That is a lot of alcohol. But somehow the irrational part of my mind started believing that I could have had more and also started to crave it badly. Yesterday I made a call to my colleague and bad mouthed another one of my colleagues. My normal hungover self sincerely regrets it. I wish I said the things I said to him. I know he might not tell them to another person, but I am sad that I lost self-control. I really appreciate it when people say ill things about other people and I do not react by trying to add my two cents to the conversation. But I guess that is one of my weaknesses that I do react or even start bad mouthing people without provocation.
Speaking of hangover, I don't think I had the normal one. I just felt my thoughts rushing in my head(a constant tingling feeling in my scalp) and I was unable to pinpoint the source of the disturbance. Apart from that I did not have a headache or anything. Yesterday when I came back home, I felt quite nice and sleepy and felt my muscles droop. It was a good feeling. I could think of things when I was not craving more alcohol and my mind turned towards philosophical topics. I was strongly arguing against the famous Bhagavad Gita maxim "You have the right to perform your actions,but you are not entitled to the fruits of the actions." Read in a vacuum this line actually makes no sense. But the next line(which I just read) "Do not let the fruit be the purpose of your actions, and therefore you won’t be attached to not doing your duty." kind of provides an explanation or an argument for the former. This line makes sense because if people only cared about the fruits of the action, they would not do things for truly altruistic reasons, like care for other people, give alms to the poor etc.
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